Sometimes I think I should have named her Noel or Holly, this daughter of mine who loves Christmas. We first discovered her Christmas passion when she was just shy of two and able to hang ornaments on the tree for the first time. It was a Saturday evening, her eight o’clock bedtime arrived. She was decorating with such focus and content that I let her continue. She didn’t stop hanging ornaments until ten o’clock when she was scooped up by her daddy and carried upstairs. She cried until she fell asleep still holding an ornament in her little hand.
In January my Christmas loving baby turns eighteen. Yesterday she decorated the tree. I watched her space the bows evenly around the boughs, then choose ornaments carefully. First, she hung the small photo frames of her and her sibling’s baby pictures. Then she placed the ornaments they made in school, or at home with felt and stuffing or posterboard and paint. Looking down at the decorations spread across the ottoman, she asked me which ones were my favorite, which ones I wanted her to add next. I chose a few and then told her to choose from the rest, the ones she likes best.
Before my daughter hangs an ornament she stands back from the tree and accesses the space between the one’s already hung. She makes sure that no two colors or shapes hang together in redundancy. She takes her time. Yesterday, I laid back listening to soft Christmas music and watching her graceful movements as if she were a Christmas Eve snowflake.
Next year will be different, if life follows her plans, at this time next year, like her older sister, she will not yet be home from college. I have been contemplating how to decorate the tree myself next year. I’m thinking that my husband will take the tree from the attic just after Thanksgiving and set it up soon after. Then, I will take my time. One day I will add the bows, and for as many days as it takes me, I will hang an ornament or a few. I will make sure that they are evenly spaced and that no two similar shapes or colors hang too close together. Knowing me, I will have a good cry.
A snow globe, that’s what now feels like…like she and I are in a snow globe that has just been shaken and glittery snowflakes are floating around us… sparkling and twinkling. We both know that Christmas time ends, snow melts, glitter falls to the floor of the globe. She will turn eighteen; she will graduate from high school. Next year will be different. But for now, right now…I am smiling at snowflakes.
Merry Christmas, Kerry.
We had a similar day yesterday and my daughter did a lot of the decorating. We had an added treat with my three year old grandson “helping” with the task. Watching them was fun. We have scaled back on decorating through the years but the ornaments are key to our memories.
Reading your story brought tears to my eyes so I am a year ahead of you. It is wonderful to see your children grow and move on to the next phase of their lives. At the same time it reminds us of what we have lost and what price they have paid for our illnesses. It makes them old before their time and robs them of the carefree years of youth. But aren’t they grand kids who stand by us and make us proud? We must have done something right as mothers and that makes us smile.
Wishing you and your family a happy and peace filled Christmas season.
Oh Kerry
Your post made me cry…it has been many years since we had children here to decorate the tree….or a large tree to decorate! I remember those times very well with joy….the kids hanging ornaments, stringing popcorn, etc.
Thank you so much for sharing this special time with us. For letting us in on your moments of joy and giving us the opportunity to appreciate or remember our own!
Gentle hugs, friend.
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Renee and Pat, I feel a kinship of mothers, thank you for sharing.
“It makes them old before their time”–Pat, how well you expressed the experience of children who grow up with a seriously ill parent.
Dear Kerry,
How beautifully you expressed telling us about your Christmas baby. What a big change it will be for the both of you next year. Seems like yesterday your kids were so young.
So good to see you posting again. Hope it means you are doing a bit better, Was concerned when I saw you hadn’t posted since November. Wondeful to watch the snowflakes fall; at the same time not so much fun for the body.
It snowed in Rocklin for the first time since I have lived here. It was the kind I enjoy-gone the same day.
Love,
Arlene
OH, Kerry, you brought tears to my eyes. Decorating the tree is one of my family’s favorite holiday traditions. Like yours, our ornaments are an assortment of things the kids made when they were younger, ornaments we bought on vacations, and lots of ones from when the kids were babies (my younger son hates that my older son has about a dozen Baby’s First Christmas ornaments – he was the first child born into my extended family since my sister and I!). We love to unwrap each ornament and remember the story behind it.
And the reason for the damp eyes? My older son is 15 and quickly approaching college age. It’s bittersweet to see them grow up, isn’t it?
Hope you enjoy the rest of the holiday season with your daughters.
Sue
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