LEMON-AIDE

Today I am thankful for butter mints, melted soy ice cream and baby food.  I’m enjoying a butter mint right now; they melt in the mouth and soothe the tummy. A year ago I would have passed if someone offered me a butter mint. I had never tasted soy ice cream and I skipped the baby food aisle.

How things can change in a year.  At this time last year, I was making a list of Christmas cookies to bake (and eat) and looking forward to our traditional “roast beast” Christmas dinner.  Most likely by now, I would have bought a bag of Hershey kisses wrapped in red and green foil, filled a candy bowl with them and popped a few too many in my mouth. 

Now I voluntarily avoid chocolate and don’t eat meat, not because I’m dieting or have become a vegetarian, but because my stomach no longer tolerates either.

Last year when my hubby’s parents told us that they were taking the whole family to Maui to celebrate their anniversary (amazing), I remember wishing I could lose some weight, at least enough to feel more comfortable in a bathing suit.  You know that saying “Be careful what you wish for”?

My wish came true with the onset of a Neuromuscular disease called Gastroparesis, “paralysis of the stomach muscles”.  Gastroparesis makes it difficult, and sometimes impossible for solid food to pass from the stomach to the small intestine.  My stomach tolerates only liquids.  If I eat anything thicker (which I do when I slip into denial) it causes severe pain.  With Gastroparesis, food can hang out in the stomach for a long time (hours, even days). Sometimes the slow moving food, acts like a dam and blocks new incoming food, which worsens symptoms (pain, nausea, and vomiting), and heightens the dangers of the disease, dehydration and malnutrition.

Last week, on Thanksgiving Day and a couple days following (leftovers of course), I let myself fall blissfully into denial.  I ate stuffing watered down with broth and gravy, the custard filling of pumpkin pie, and bits of soft rolls. I paid the consequences with a few days of over the top pain that shook me back into reality. Thankfully after three days of ”eating” only liquids (and sucking on buttermints) the pain has eased.  This one change in my body has got me thinkin…

There are countless ways a life can change in one year.  I write this with a much loved someone in mind who was just diagnosed with a chronic illness that comes with an awful lot of pain and life changes.  I know she is feeling very different than she did at this time last year.  I share her wise words…”Do you know what you can do?”

Right now, in the midst of this season, at the end of 2008, may we realize what we are able to do.  If your lungs breathe freely, take a deep breath and wonder at the bellows that keep oxygen flowing through your vessels.  If your feet walk take a minute to realize how incredible it is that they hold you up and take you where you want to go.  If your feet run…wow…feel the wonder of it!  If your hands are strong enough and pain free enough to squeeze your tube of toothpaste, type on your laptop, hold the hand of another…stop for a minute to appreciate all that your hands and fingers do.  If your mind strings thoughts together and remembers, marvel at the workings of your infinitely mysterious brain that we have as much to learn about as we do the universe.

So much can change in a year. May we be grateful for what we can do, treasure those we love and appreciate what we have.  Even buttermints, baby food, and soy ice cream, I’d miss… if I couldn’t eat them next year.